Do Nothing Half-Assed

I just quit my job. My boss was nice and the work was fine but something happened that put students, of the school I was working for, in danger of physical harm. Ever since that I just couldn't give my best to the job. Everyone said I should keep it "it's a great situation, you get to work at home, you make decent money and you only have to dial it in."

The dialing it in part is what I couldn't deal with. I've always tried to do my best at everything I do. I felt like a total wuss for leaving my job just because I couldn't give it my best especially since it was very clear I could be successful without giving it my all. And isn't that what work is supposed to be about? Giving the least and getting the most? Not for me.

Just knowing I was going to do something half-assed ruined my day. Every morning I'd wake up at 7am and think about my day, then I'd remember the work I was going to dial in and think "fuck it" and go back to sleep.

My whole life feels better now that I quit. Sure I may still be a wuss but when I wake up in the morning and think of what I have to do that day, I get excited and bounce out of bed.

Doing one thing in your life half-assed is like adding the tiniest bit of barf to your coffee, no matter how little there is, it ruins the whole thing.

The Logic Diet

I've invented a new diet. Logically it should work great. It's based on these two facts: 
1. It's been proven that in times of plenty the body burns fat, while in times of famine the body stores fat. 
and
2. If you hypnotize someone into thinking that they're being burned, they'll produce a blister without any heat coming anywhere near them. 

I live in a pretty faminesque state of mind, I'm always worried that I'll be jobless or homeless or globally warmed to death, so it would be a pretty big change for me to believe I'm living in a time of plenty.

If I can make that change, and hypnotize myself into to believing in the plentyness, my body should start burning up fat like crazy. Isn't logic great! One thing I've really got going for me is the ability to believe in things regardless of fact.

I'm not sure if it's working yet, but yesterday, I beheld a feeling of Plenty while I ate a bunch of pizza and chocolate truffles, and I tell you, it felt like the pounds were just melting off of me.

Sleep - Freedom's Last Virgin Wilderness

Society wants to make me feel bad about sleeping all the time. Apparently I'm supposed to feel lazy (which for some reason has a negative connotation) because I go to be at 10p.m., don't get up until 11:30a.m. and nap from 4 to 7p.m. 

Why? you ask. Why do they care? I'll tell you why. It's because sleep is the last untouched wilderness of Freedom. They can tax tobacco, illegalize drugs, and throw you in jail for drinking booze but there is nothing they can do to regulate your sleep. 

Oh but they try. Making everything so expensive that we have to work all the time, waking up early and going to bed late, is nothing more than an attempt to control our sleep. Still though, there is no direct route they can take to regulate it. 

Why is sleep so threatening? Think of this: if you had to choose between supporting the current government and being able to sleep, which would you choose? See?

Also, sleep keeps me from contributing to money transfers that are essential to funding our current society.
For example:
1. When I'm sleeping I'm not eating. So I'm dieting without the aid of diet programs, pills, or professionals.
2. I age slower because I'm conscious less often. Hence I'm not getting plastic surgery or buying anti-aging products.
3. It brings me closer to my dream of dying peacefully in my sleep (let me explain the logic here: if you want to die in a clown suit wear the clown suit a lot). If I die peacefully in my sleep they're going to miss out on all the money I'd have to spend on doctors, medicine and hospitalization.

You see, when I sleep I don't just do it for my own benefit, I do it for Freedom. Feel free to thank me between 12 and 3p.m., when I'm awake.

My Dog the Pop Icon

She's only 2 years old and she's already influenced metal band aesthetics.

It's probably only days until Sienna Miller picks up this look.